A Filk I am working on!

Hanwei Rapier (to the tune of The Worzels ‘Combine Harvester – Brand new Key’)


Did I impress you with my thrusting last night?
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
Or my Passata footwork in the last fight?
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
My old Rapier’s rusting, ‘twas bothering me
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
Now I’m so excited, and I want you to see

I’ve got a brand new Hanwei Rapier, come and have a feel
Shall we try to come together, sure we’ll work out a deal
I will swash your buckle, if you cut and thrust with me!
I’ve got a brand new Hanwei Rapier, come and have a feel

(I’ve got a fine rigid parry too!)

Of course I’ll teach you, here just you take my lead,
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
I’m lithe and nimble, I’m a man built for speed,
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
Just hold my schlager tightly, you’ll find your rhythm fast.
(Ooh ar ooh ar)
Just down and dirty like they did in the past.

I’ve got a brand new Hanwei Rapier, come and have a feel
Shall we try to come together, sure we’ll work out a deal
I will swash your buckle, if you cut and thrust with me!
I’ve got a brand new Hanwei Rapier, come and have a feel

(Watch me flourish!)

We faced each other at that last Rent a Don
I wore my silk, you had your thigh-high boots on
You tried it riverso, but I ran you through!
And now I’m waiting for my rematch with you!

I’ve got a brand new Hanwei Rapier, come and have a feel
Shall we try to come together, sure we’ll work out a deal
So stop your fancy feinting and Lay on with me,
I’ve got a brand new Hanwei Rapier, come and have a feel